Something Special in the Mix

You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been writing much about our adoption and there’s a good reason for that.

There’s not much going on.

While the wait is difficult, I’ve had a relatively easy time with it. My lack of attentiveness is a gift in situations like this. It also makes for an interesting life since I can talk with you for twenty minutes then walk away without a clue as to the conversation. Such a brain makes this wait for Little P. easier since most of the time….I live in the clouds and don’t think about it.

My wife is not so lucky. She has a brain that sees everything in HD so this business about “forgetting” our adoption has been a struggle for her. In fact, Reece called our agency (CCAI if you don’t already know) this week to re-inquire about the wait.  When we first submitted our medical checklist, the time period from submission to match was about 12-18 months.  Currently, we’re at 11 months so you’d think we’d be pretty close to being matched.  Not necessarily.  When asked about the wait, Reece was told the Chinese adoption process is becoming as slow as major league baseball, therefore 18 months is the most likely scenario.

That’s quite a blow.

Instead of being on the cusp, we’re staring at 7 more months until being matched. Reece likened this to an expectant mother being told her baby wouldn’t arrive for another 7 months.  Maddening to say the least.  The upside is that our letter of acceptance (from China) goes by our log in date, so we shouldn’t have to wait long once we’re matched. Lookin at the bright side. :)smileys_by_musty14-d3hfwjw.jpg (675×647)

Although the wait continues, we’ve done a few things to remain plugged in.  For example, last weekend we visited a China exhibit at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum.

http://www.childrensmuseum.org/exhibits/terra-cotta-warriors

It was a cool way to introduce Chinese culture to our kiddos.  It’s one thing to talk about China and read books, but quite another to look at Terra Cotta warriors thousands of years old.  Another part of the exhibit was set up with various examples/experiences of Chinese culture. This was great because you boarded a fake plane which streaked to China in about 5 minutes.  Don’t I wish the actual 13 hour plane ride was that freakin easy!

We’ve also been involved with other China adoption groups.  Just last weekend we attended a Harvest Moon Festival celebration.  (Hey free meat and moon cakes—I’m there!) It was awesome talking with families who had gone the distance and seeing Ellie and Mitch playing amidst mobs of Chinese kids made my heart sing.  I was a little confused on the moon cake thing though.  I guess what I envisioned was more of a moon pie…the gooey marshmallowy thing my friend Rick Powers used to scarf down every lunch period in high school.

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But moon cakes are different.  Honestly, most Chinese deserts are god-awful (at least the ones I’ve tried) so I proceeded with trepidation, nibbling at the cake, hoping my lips hit Godiva chocolate rather than sugary bean paste. Imagine sinking your teeth into a bland fig newton and you get the gist of a moon cake.  Not terrible…just bland. It’s a helluva lot prettier than a moon pie though…which is nice.

Mooncake.jpg (1200×949)

Even though we’re still waiting, I feel something on the horizon.  Why?  Because my mom, wife, daughter, mother-in-law and I have all dreamed about Little Panda in one form or another.  Mine was a lucid dream that occurred the other night.  For those who don’t know, lucid dreams are when the dreamer is aware they are dreaming.  I used to have lucid dreams often, but it’s been over two years since my last one.

http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/what-is-lucid-dreaming.html

In my dream, I followed the screams of a little girl up the front steps of our home.  When I reached the second floor hallway, I found a distinguished blonde lady standing outside Little P’s room.  She looked like a wary librarian…arms crossed, staring at me with a serious yet peaceful smile.  I passed her without a word, racing into Panda’s room. A large white bed stood before me. There, laying face down, was a little girl with long black hair.  I wish I could say I went to the girl…checked to see if she was okay… but I was so freaked out that I jumped through Panda’s mirror and woke up.

Who knows what this dream meant.  I mean why would a librarian be part of the mix?  But the fact is, I feel as though something is about to happen.

Something special.

Inspiration from Fear

Am I avoiding my fears?  God seems to think so, because everything I’ve been seeing lately involves this idea that fear must be overcome to achieve greatness.

Exhibit A: Crossroads church posts their weekly sermons online.  The other night, Reece thought it would be neat to go back and listen to the message that inspired our adoption.  It’s amazing how malleable memories are!  I thought the talk was about fulfillment or what inspires you. Needless to say, I was wrong.  Here’s the sermon. If you watch it till the end, you’ll hear the speaker pray for couples considering adopting.  I truly believe this prayer was meant for us.

http://www.crossroads.net/my/media/playVideo.php&idMedia=2225

 

Exhibit B: I’m stuck on these Ted Talks.  Usually I just go to YouTube and click on one of them that sounds interesting.  This one took me by surprise although, judging by the title, it shouldn’t have:

 

There’s more examples but you get the idea….I believe God is showing me how fear has become an obstacle in my life. So what do I fear? Here’s my quick non-exhaustive list:

1) Snakes: my father had the bright idea of putting a dead snake in a jar of formaldehyde and presented it to his 6-year-old son as a gift .  Thanks Dad!

2) Sickness and debility or becoming dependent on others: I see how fragile people are and it scares me.

3) Vampires: my sister caused this one–telling me that Dracula would suck my blood if I fell asleep.  I still sleep with my covers pulled up tightly over my neck.

4) Not providing or supporting my family: I think a lot of men struggle with this one.

5) Squiggly play doh: actually, I’m more disgusted by this than scared…I think.

6) Looking stupid or being unprepared: don’t we all fear this?

7) Failing to reach my potential

8) Heights: which sucks when you have a limb on your roof or a swing that needs hanging.

9) Losing a loved one

10) Michael Meyers:  not the comedian the masked maniac

 

I tried finding recent gallop poles about fear but only found this one from 2001:

 

Good to know that I’m not alone in fearing heights and snakes…damn snakes!  Just thinking of those slithery guys makes me squirm.

As I looked through my list, I found a few red flags.  Other than my constant disgust of squiggly play doh…my main “current” fears are:

not providing enough for my family and looking stupid.

How many guys can relate to this?  Even though we’re becoming a two income society where husbands and wives share duties, men continue to be the main providers in the majority of homes. But I think the reason for this is more than sociological.

My wife and I have discussed our purpose in life several times.  For Reece, being a mother and nurturing a loving family is everything. I can’t think of a better purpose than that and if I wasn’t being completely honest here, I would agree.  But my purpose is different and I think a lot of guys can relate.  This is a work in progress and the reason for this blog is to hammer it out, but currently my purpose is to become a force of inspiration for others and use my gifts to their fullest potential.

I know…I look at those words and say to myself, “what the hell does that even mean?”

You could say my purpose is self actualized through parenthood and you’re right, but there’s more.  Whether this is right or wrong is anyone’s opinion, but I think a lot of men can relate to this next statement.  It’s as though we have this drive to succeed and achieve greatness…something bigger than ourselves.  Parenting a child has the potential to effect numerous lives and is something great….but I’m talking more about personal achievement here.  I wish I could say that my sole goal in life is to be an awesome father, husband, son and while this is in my vision, my spirit yearns to achieve something that expands out to as many people as possible.

How is God pushing me in this direction?

It’s just an urge right?  Maybe it’s not God.  Maybe it’s a form of discontent that all 40-year-old men go through.  That’s a valid point, but as I look at my life, I see moments where I have listened to this voice and followed it.  The latest example is our adoption. The emotion and power that God “pushed down and pressed through” both my wife and I was astounding, but I can’t expect every decision to be that clear.  I can’t expect God to make everything that easy.  I believe the adoption was a nonnegotiable–something I agreed to before I came into this world, therefore the decision was set…lock, stock and barrel.  This present situation is different.

Where are my fears pushing me?  To be a better husband, father, worker, brother, son….to be a better person…

 

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….and it’s terrifying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bastet

If you read this blog then you know I was a funeral director for five years. I followed my dad into the “family” business right out of college.  I was lost and didn’t know what to do with my life so my parents provided me with a steady job while I worked out the details.  I mention this because  I am in the depths of grief over something that I never thought would be a big deal.

Psycho Puss B

On Monday, I had my precious cat (Bastet) put to sleep. She was a wonderful companion for nearly 18 years of my life.

Her death rocked me to the core.

I always joked that Bastet had lived with me longer than anyone (even my wife).  For some reason this sweet tortoiseshell persian  picked me as her “person.” In fact the night we first got her, the little rascal (no bigger than a rolled up sock) lay on my chest and promptly bit my nipple!  I was her “go to” her “god,” her everything….

Which is what made Monday so damn hard.

As an OT I see loss daily. Usually I encounter a patient’s loss of freedom, independence, function…but recently, I came across something which took me back…

It occurred during an evaluation.  I was in a hurry and only had a chance to glance at this patient’s medical history which showed:

Fx (fractured) humerus resulting from MVA (motor vehicle accident)

A broken arm?  Good!  I love working with shoulder patients. (This is how we therapists think–strange I know)

When I arrived at the address, I stumbled into a spacious apartment, where beautiful antique clocks and tables filled every crevice.  A reserved, frail woman, silently beckoned me with a wave of her hand. I sensed her unease so I began with some small talk.

“Looks like someone likes antiques…”

“Yes, my husband was fond of clocks.”

“He had great taste.”

Pressed for time, I jammed through the evaluation, hitting all of the major areas of concern (safety, doctor’s orders, pain management…the works). I was wrapping up and feeling pretty good about myself when I asked,

“How long have you lived here?”

“Oh, we were planning to move here for quite some time…starting a new chapter of sorts, but my husband was killed in the accident…”

My heart dropped to my stomach as she began to cry.

I felt her grief…thick….gnawing, numbness that sucked the air out of that beautiful room.  It hit me in the chest and my eyes began to water.

I’ve said this before…and I’ll say it again…my job is to support the client NOT crumble with them. My goal (just as it was in the funeral business) is to provide strong guidance that encourages healing.  Well, as I started to lose myself in this lady’s grief, I tossed all of that “heady” stuff aside and hugged her.  I won’t lie…it was awkward.  I didn’t even know this lady and yet we cried together…but I truly couldn’t help it and my client didn’t seem to mind.

This woman experienced grief–real grief. So why does a cat’s (Bastet’s) death upset me so much?

Initially, I though it was because I had a hand in her death.  I was the one who authorized our vet to euthanize her.  I still think this was the main reason for my distress, but there’s more to it.  Bastet’s death was my loss on several levels.  In fact both Reece and I could feel an emptiness following her death.  It was as though part of our family was cut away leaving a void in its place.  But more than that, I think Bastet’s death reminded me how fragile life is.  In a matter of 24 hours, a pet whom I loved, cared for and nurtured nearly half my life was gone forever. The comparisons began to flood my brain and I began to see (in a small, small –fraction of a way) how devastating death and loss can be.

Ekart Tollie puts it this way:

“As people around you pass away, you become increasingly aware of your own mortality…Many people still, in our civilization, deny death. They don’t want to think about it, don’t want to give it any attention.”

My first real experience with this was when my grandma died.  Mom and dad had left me in charge of the funeral home, therefore I was forced to make heart crushing decisions.

Should I pick grandma up and bring her to our funeral home?

Should I call dad right away? How am I going to tell him?

Who else should I call?

What arrangements should I make? 

My brain drowned in emotions blocking any semblance of rationality. When you work as a funeral director, you learn to block out the grief. For some silly reason, I thought this same ability (to numb the pain) would carry into my personal life. I was sorely mistaken.

So there I was, sitting at the vet with Bastet in my arms…hoping a definite sign would reveal itself.  In my heart I knew it was over, but I held hope that something would happen…a test, treatment…anything to give me a clear course of action.  But nothing happened.  If anything, the waters became more muddy as our vet rifled through scenario after scenario.

“She’s very dehydrated so we can administer IV fluids to make her feel better….or you could leave her here overnight while we run more tests…we don’t know if anything will make her feel better but if you’re looking for options….”

I didn’t want options.  I wanted clear-cut answers.  I wanted someone to tell me what to do. Here was my sweet Bastet, looking into my eyes then burying her head into my chest…with one decision holding her life in balance.

My wife says, being an adult sucks sometimes because you have to make THE decision.  The decision as I saw it was that Bastet was not going to get better.  Her condition was chronic and after some IV fluids, we would be right back where we were.  It was time.

It was time.

In the end, I sat alone with Bastet, in some back room, waiting for the doc to return for her final shot.  It was the hardest part because she kept trying to fight and get back into her cat carrier.  She wanted to go home…but she never would return home and it crushed me.  When the doc finally arrived, I wrapped her in a blanket and she calmed down.  As I cradled her, I looked into her wide eyes and told her how sorry I was…how wonderful she had been…how I wished I could hold her forever…how I wished I could see her through this.

Bastet was just a cat, but she was so much more than that.  I’ve heard the belief that attachment (to anything) is wrong because it causes pain. Attachment does indeed cause pain, but the pain I experience over Bastet’s death is well worth all of the love, joy and tenderness she gave me in her short life. I love you my Bastet…and I can’t wait to meet you again at the Rainbow Bridge.

Cat and El B

 

 

 

Not Living Like Joaquin

The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” 

Mark 9:24

 I like to talk to myself.  It’s a strangely addictive habit, but easily hidden unless you’re outside your car. My most recent one-way-conversation went something like this…

Q: How do you achieve fulfillment in life?

A: By trusting God and giving Him control.

Q: How do you give God control?

A: Through Faith.

Q: Do you live your life through faith?

A: Sometimes. There have been times when I have “LET GO AND LET GOD.” Remember when I left Thomas More (TMC) to play baseball at Ball State (BSU)? I took a chance telling myself, “you’ll never know how far you can go unless you take this opportunity.” Or what about when I decided to leave the funeral home and become an occupational therapist because I knew that continuing down that path (in the family business) would end in resentment?

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I pitched from 1993-94 at TMC with good success, so when the opportunity came to play at a higher level I transferred to BSU. I ended up pitching less than 30 innings in 2 seasons for the BSU Cardinals. 

Following college, I worked as a funeral director in the family business before accepting a remedial job at Children’s Hospital, becoming the oldest rehab tech on record.  I worked 3+ years at Children’s on my way to earning a master’s degree in OT.

Q: Do you regret these decisions?

A: Not at all because they both lead to growth.  I wouldn’t be the same person without those experiences.

Q: How is that living in faith?

A: It’s believing in your decision and not getting grid-locked over all the variables.  It’s what a friend of mine calls a Bold Move.

https://www.facebook.com/allan.milham?fref=ts&ref=br_tf

Q: Oh yeah, Allan.  Nice guy.  Anyway, you said that you “sometimes” live through faith.  What do you mean by that?

A: Wait that old lady in the hoopty is staring….okay she thinks I’m singing.  “Sometimes” means that there have been times in my life when I didn’t make that leap….where I allowed my fears to control me.

A: For instance?

Q: For instance…right now….I’m waiting for the perfect job opportunity to come around instead of stepping out of my comfort zone.

Q: But fear is good right?  I mean if you took everything by faith, you’d end up standing at the bottom of an exit ramp, holding a cardboard sign and wearing a wife beater.

A: Is there a question in there?

Q: Ummm….fear can be good so isn’t it better to be safe than reckless?

A: Sure, but I’m not talking about pulling a Joaquin Phoenix here…I’m talking about how fear limits my full potential. If I allowed fear (instead of faith) to rule my life, I’d be living alone in the basement of a funeral home, blaming others for my frustrating life. If I never surrendered to God, then Little Panda would be a cute name instead of my future daughter. You see what I’m saying?

Q: Yeah, but you’d better calm down.  You forgot to roll up the windows and you’re beginning to shout.

A: Can I turn on the radio or do you have more questions?

Q: I have one more question.

A: Shoot.

Q: Who’s Joaquin Phoenix?

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Perspective

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“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

Is perspective everything?  I’ve thought so for a long time and my beliefs are becoming more ingrained the older I get.  When I go through life this way, everything makes more sense.

Let me explain why.

Keeping things in perspective to me, means that everything (good, bad, indifferent) is relative. This means that every thought, idea, belief or act of mine is a product of my own personal life view. So when I say that I believe in Jesus the Son of God, my statement is based on an American, Christian, white, middle class worldview.  Life makes sense when I realize people’s actions are dependent on their perspective.  From this view, I look from above the forest and bask in it’s beauty and complexity.  The trouble is, I am constantly drawn back into that forest and become buried in foliage.  I forget that no matter what path I take, I have the power to experience it any way I want and that events I see as stressful, may (in reality) be good for me:

I wonder how many things in life would change by putting this principle into practice?

In his book, Searching for Life’s Meaning, Viktor Frankl described how he turned imprisonment at a Nazi Death camp into a meaningful experience.

“The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action. … Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.”

But knowing this idea and putting it into practice are two different things.  For example, how do I change my perspective on waiting for our Little Panda?  It’s been almost ten months now and the wait seems never ending. If I focus on this fact then my wait becomes a watched pot, but if I recall that the average wait for a match is twelve months, then wham! my perspective changes and I’m back in the game of hope.

I believe a lot of our power to manifest a meaningful life comes from perspective.  We humans are built to bring meaning to things. So rambling about this accomplishes a few things for me….it allows me to frame our wait for Panda into something positive like:

  • The time is not right…either our family or Panda are not in the right place yet
  • This extra time allows us to properly prepare for our new daughter
  • Each passing day takes one day off the wait (BTW–This is how I get through Winter)
  • We have done everything that’s in our control, now is time to let go and trust in God

Just by framing things this way, makes the wait bearable….

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

To read some of more of Viktor E. Frankl quotes click the link below

https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/2782.Viktor_E_Frankl

God Genius

I have it all…family, friends, health…everything…yet one area of my life continues to elude me…

a job that I love.  

Don’t get me wrong….my profession allows me to touch lives in positive ways, but I have yet to find a job that sings to me…inspires me…empowers me to use my gifts to their fullest potential.

This struggle for a meaningful job has intensified over the past few years as home health tries to remain viable within our careening health care system.  I won’t bore you with all the details but at one point I was working four separate home health jobs to make ends meet.

Like most spoiled kids, I complain about these sort of things to God. 

“I want a job that inspires me!”  

“Why can’t I have a job that allows my wife to stay home?”  

“Why don’t you show me a clear path to follow?”  

Pretty ungrateful…I know…but I have scant tolerance for uncertainty and over the past two years my job has been about as certain as a Reds winning streak.

reds242014.04.02.jpg (534×401)

I’ve always had a job in healthcare and am blessed for that, but my current path in home health is overgrown with weeds and I’m tired of pulling them.

 

Enter a new opportunity…

There’s a possibility that I may be moving into a different field, but I don’t know if it’s the right move.  It will be a difficult road but in the end it MAY prove to be the right course. Do I take it?

 

God?  PLEASE SHOW ME! 

 

To help me through this, I decided to shout out to God and see if He answered.  He always answers, but usually a) I don’t hear through the chatter of of my monkey brain or b) don’t listen long enough to hear His voice.

As many of you know, I see God through music.  I truly believe He speaks to me through songs and lyrics that evoke feelings…alerting me of His presence. So Monday while in my car for the morning commute, I asked God to be my Almighty DJ. 

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Let me explain.

 

I have an I-Pod with 4654 songs from numerous hard rock genres. In essence I said, “God, I’m struggling with this job decision so I want you to talk to me through my music.” 

Before I continue, I must inform you that my I-Pod was on “shuffle” (not Genius) which means that any one of those 4000 + tunes could have randomly come up. Brilliant songs from classy bands like Acid Bath, Tool, The Dillinger Escape Band, etc.  In fact I would say 70 to 80% of my tunes are either classic rock, metal or a variation of the two.  In other words, If you’re looking for the newest tune by Mary Chapin Carpenter…good luck.

So I hit “Play” and these are the songs (in order) God chose for my 30 minute commute:

 

“Call Me Fool” by Live

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO48FEOakow

I can’t believe I finally found the key, the door, the trip it was all in my mind now I’m one with the fools of love

I can’t believe I finally found the prisoner, the free man were all in my mind now I’m one with the fools of love

 
These fools of love are misunderstood their history is with me now
I can’t believe my core was shaken I gave up the ghost of everything I was before now I’m one with the fools of love
 
The fools of love are misunderstood the mystery is with me now so call me a fool call me a fool call me a fool
I can’t believe my dream is over I woke up this morning with nothing but light in my eyes now I’m one with the fools of love
 
I can’t believe the key, the door, the clouds that blocked the sun they were all in my mind now I’m one with the fools of love

And these fools of love are misunderstood their history is with me now so call me fool call me a fool call me a fool the fools of love are misunderstood the mystery is with me now

 

“He” by Jars of Clay
(This song has always “hit” me and I know God used it because I’m thinking of going back into Pediatrics)
 
 
 
Don’t try to reach me, I’m already dead
The pain when it grips me, for things that I’ve done

Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?

[Chorus:]

Fearful tears are running down
The pain you’ve laid don’t speak a sound
Don’t take my heart away from me
And they think I fell down

Daddy, don’t you love me?
Then why do you hit me?
And Momma don’t you love me
Then why do you hurt me?
Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?

[Chorus]

A teardrop falls from up in the heavens
Drowning the sorrow of angels on high
For the least of the helpless, the hopeless, the loveless
My Jesus, His children, He holds in His eyes


“Satan Your Kingdom Must Come Down” by Robert Plant
 
 
 
Satan, your kingdom must come down
Satan, your kingdom must come down
I heard the voice of Jesus say
Satan, your kingdom must come down

Gonna pray until they tear your kingdom down
Gonna pray until they tear your kingdom down
I heard the voice of Jesus say
Satan, your kingdom must come down

Gonna shout until they tear your kingdom down
Gonna shout until they tear your kingdom down
I heard the voice of Jesus say
Satan, your kingdom must come down

 

“Faithfully”
(It was the Glee version—gotta bite the bullet and keep with what God gave me)
 
Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You’re on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love
Along the wire

They say that the road
Ain’t no place to start a family
Right down the line
It’s been you and me
And lovin’ a music man
Ain’t always what it’s supposed to be
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I’m forever yours
Faithfully

Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you

And being apart
Ain’t easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I’m forever yours
Faithfully

Faithfully
I’m still yours

I’m forever yours
Ever yours
Faithfully


As I said, my music is mainly heavy, ridiculous stuff so there wasn’t an abundance of choices here which makes this so amazing.  4 songs (undeniably chosen) in a row that speak to me.  

 

God is with me…He is with you…we just need to tune in.

The Waiting Game

Does anyone like to wait?

Just thinking of a clogged I-75 burns my biscuits.

Why?

Because waiting is un-American.  Because our society runs like a blitzkrieg.  Because instant information is readily available at our fingertips.

You get the point.

Time is a strange thing.  Some days are gone in a blink, while others crawl along like Slowpoke Rodriguez.

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The best explanation I’ve heard about this phenomena came from a very smart lady.  Grandma was 95 years old when I asked, “Why does time speed up when you get older?” Granny smiled. “When you’re young, you feel as though you have all the time in the world, but when you get old, time flies by. I think it’s because the longer you’re here the less a year seems in comparison to your age…” I thought her explanation was brilliant.  In essence, Granny was saying that 1 year to a 10 year old goes slower than mine because 365 days constitutes 1/10th of their lived experience while it’s only 1/40th of mine therefore, to me the year “feels” smaller in comparison.

Boy-Looking-Confused.png (530×484) I still think it’s brilliant.

Unfortunately Granny’s time theory isn’t working in regards to our adoption because each day is dragging.  Things were really cookin’ during the dossier process, but now time has slowed to glacial speed. I’ve read the hardest part of an adoption is the wait. Perhaps that’s true–but until a child becomes available on the special needs list, there’s nothing to do but wait. On average, it’s taking about 12 months to be matched with a special needs child through our agency.  We completed our medical list about 9 months ago, so hopefully we’re rounding third on this.

Why is the process taking so long?  In my attempt to answer this conundrum, I decided to look online for  answers.  Here’s the skinny:

According to this article written by NPR in 2012, China is encouraging domestic adoptions over foreign ones which has slowed the process.

http://www.npr.org/2012/08/07/157844554/would-be-parents-wait-as-foreign-adoptions-plunge

NBC news writes, “China has eased its one-child policy, fewer baby girls are abandoned, domestic adoptions of healthy orphans have increased…causing the waiting time to triple in the past four years.”

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/36037857/ns/health-childrens_health/t/adopting-chinas-special-needs-kids/#.U7YV6JRX-uY

Finally CNN states, the process has slowed due to “rising regulations and growing sentiment in countries such as Russia and China against sending orphans abroad.”

http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/16/world/international-adoption-main-story-decline/

This same article claims that, ” As China slows international adoptions, the number of children filling its orphanages is climbing — rising to 92,000 in 2011, almost a 50% rise from 2004, according to China’s Ministry of Civil Affairs.”

I think orphans SHOULD be adopted by their own people, but obviously the supply of orphans continues to overwhelm the demand for domestic adoptions in China, which brings me back to the original question…why the wait?

If there is such a great need, then why is the process taking so darn long?

1999_0.jpg (698×393)

I’m open to answers…

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