Do you think fundraising for an adoption is unethical?
When I hear something totally against what I believe, my initial reaction is to get angry so when I read a post on Facebook about this topic, it fired me up. After venting for an hour or so, I took ten slow breaths and read the post again. The words “appalling” and “embarrassing” were used to communicate the person’s viewpoint (i.e. fundraising for adoption is wrong.) The source was someone with several adopted kiddos from around the world.
So what? This group (adopting parents) takes all kinds—right? What I didn’t realize was that the original thread came from an adoptee. The general gist (in my opinion) was that anyone raising funds to adopt is treating their future child like a commodity–something sold to the highest bidder. The idea sickened me, because it came from someone who lives that life…a life under the stigma of being adopted.
My mind flashed forward fifteen years. Little Panda is now an adult and besides hating being called Little Panda, she has many opinions. Will she be embarrassed…appalled that we asked for money to help bring her from China? Will she see herself as property rather than my daughter?
Complex–this whole deal is so complex. At face value you see a child in need so you follow your heart and do what you think is right. Then you begin researching and peeling back all the layers involved and see things you never thought you would. For one moment I tried seeing this adoption through my future daughter’s eyes and…I couldn’t do it. The paradigm shift was just too difficult.
But then I thought of the spark God put in our hearts for this little girl and guess what?….all of my worries vanished. It’s a recurring theme in this blog (I know so sue me!) but I can’t help it. God put His desire in our hearts and for some reason he wants the Danner family to include a little girl from China. I realize this is difficult to understand. I realize there are children in America…in my town that need love…need a home, but God wants it this way. He wants us to take this leap and go the distance, all the way to China. So that’s what we are going to do and if people want to help us along the way, I aint stoppin em.
Would I ever have a fundraiser for my biological child? No. But aren’t baby showers (sort of) the same thing? This fundraiser/party is a wonderful opportunity for us to receive support from those we love. As Reece said to me, besides a wedding, there aren’t many opportunities to share your life with so many family and friends. We are going to enjoy the heck out of it!
Little P. is not a charity case and doesn’t need us to save her. She is our daughter and our job is to bring her home. Period.