We’re still waiting for this home study to be complete and I’m feeling discouraged. There’s still many hurdles to overcome. Why does the system have to make this so difficult? I understand we’re dealing with children and it’s best to error on the side of caution in regards to background checks and the like, but the longer this takes, the longer some little one goes without a loving home. It’s one thing when it’s your child, but we’re talking millions of kids here. The orphanages in China are literally bursting with abandoned children. Why isn’t a better system in place?
Nobody wants to hear me whine so I’ll stop and instead fill you in on what else is going on (numbered in no order of importance).
1) Finding a place for our party: We need a spacious venue for my 40th birthday party/silent auction. We investigated a few grade schools, churches, colleges and our neighborhood club but all are out of our price range. Any ideas? If we can’t find an affordable place, then the auction will not be possible. (Insert frowny emoticon here)
2) Set up donations: We decided to get all our funding options in line before asking for donations. Services will include the chrome buffalo T-shirt drive, silent auction and a website for tax-free donations. The idea is to get our party set up (sometime in February), then launch everything at once. It’s a cool idea since the alternative is chaotic emails, letters, Facebook prompts, etc. This way you get one letter explaining it all.
3) Ordering buttons or a red wrist band: This idea came from Geoffrey Shaw, former CEO of the Asian Bridge http://theasianbridge.org Shaw discussed his journey (adopting a daughter from China) with me and mentioned an old Chinese legend called “The Red Thread of Destiny.”
An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.
This proverb is commonly used for passionate love (like the Westerners idea of soul mates) however the thread may also symbolize a connection between parent and child. When a baby is born, he or she is already connected to the important people in their life. As each year passes, the thread tightens, bringing each destined soul closer to this child. The Red Thread is popular among families adopting from China with red bands or bracelets worn to symbolize the eternal bond between child and parent. Here’s one good example of the idea that I found online.
Rather than red bands, Geoffrey’s idea was to create buttons symbolizing your adoption journey.
He suggested distributing the buttons to family and friends and saw it as a simple way of sharing your story with others. “You’ll be amazed at how quickly the word spreads,” he said. “It’s the best fund-raising strategy that I know.”
4) Opening up: When it comes to our personal lives, Reece and I are not very open. Being therapists, we are better at asking questions and listening than sharing our views with others. But the truth is, we need to share this story. Not to boast or try to convince others that adoption is the way to go, but to fulfill a basic human need…the need for reassurance. When you look at adoption stories online you see friends and family rally around the cause, giving their support. Reece and I plan to build this support by reaching out more in 2014.
So when we start talking about this scary, life changing process…ask questions, look in our eyes and tell us it will be okay. We need that more than you’ll ever know.